Monday, April 27, 2009

Jenna here, logged on as Mark (again)

okay i can't remember my password so i keep logging in as Mark. anyhow, here is the latest. today Mark had is quarterly CT Scans and next Monday he has the Octreotide Scan. after these two tests come back clean (i.e. that the cancer is still just in his liver only) then our MELD score gets bumped to a 25. back in November we were told they were transplanting at a MELD score of between 25 and 27. today we were told by UCLA that with a 25 they may start making us offers. which means the supply and demand might be lower at this moment so we could get a transplant at MELD score of 25. we don't know exactly what she meant by "making us offers", and we thought the Chief of Liver Transplant stuff was going to be "selecting" the best liver for Mark, not really like us picking it out. so we need to find out how this is going to happen. as everyone knows we are learning as we go. its like once it happens then you are the expert, until then we are on the learn as you go program. we are both definetly freaked out a bit with this new info. we were thinking it was going to be more like this Fall, and now we are realizing it could be sooner. okay that is really scary. Mark asked me tonight if we are ready. uh NO. totally scared. not ready. can't we just freeze time just like it is right now? is that option? because right now is safe. we have gotten use to this routine we are in right now. moving forward into unfamiliar terrain AGAIN is crazy scary. hold on everyone we might be moving to the next step with all of this in the near future. do we have choice? no guts no glory, right !? like Nike says JUST DO IT!!!

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